Your day probably started when your child woke you up, and way before you were ready to leave the bed. Truthfully, you probably weren’t awake enough when you spilled the milk making chocolate for him or her, and just grabbed a cookie to finish breakfast. My mornings start like this more often than not.
The days go by so fast that my feet have to remind me to sit sometime around 1 pm. By the time I want to produce some work on the computer or anything outside house duties, my brain is fried. So I do what you were probably doing when you found this blog, I scroll through my phone after putting my children to bed until I fall sleep.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong in any of this. Actually, you and I love our family so much that we have decided to “work from home” or you work out of home and try your best when you are home. The chaos happens when we believe the lie the world says: that what we do is not a job. Chaos happens when you believe your company wouldn’t survive because “nobody can do what I do”. Chaos happens when we lose the meaning of the very variable life of a mom.
Well, let me tell you dear mom there is hope. God decided for moms to be moms for so many unique reasons; some of them we can decode, some we can save to ask in Heaven on day. One of my personal favorite reasons why God decided to give me the honor of being a mom, is probably because of the strength and resilience in the nature of every woman. Some confuse this with male attitudes or poor Christian traditions. The reality is that the more I study God’s word, the more I realize the strength God placed in each one of us females.
So, having established the fact that we are created strong, let me show you the things I keep learning in this journey. I pray that God continues to help us all to find truth and blessings throughout motherhood.
The first thing our maternity needs, (and all areas of our life for that matter) is to let go of the ideas of the world, and hold on to God’s perfect design. The world says I need to have a perfect and clean house when God says I need to raise my kids in truth. I truly believe my kids grow in truth every day when the TV is off, and we talk about the things in life. Starting with me listening to them before I speak. Speaking openly about what is going on in our house is also part of the truth. If we are making our kids aware of the challenges of life, we most be transparent when there is not too many resources, when we are exhausted, when they need to play independently so mom and dad can drink their coffee and chat, etc.
Secondly, I have learned to love decluttering. Getting rid of things we don’t need brings so much more meaning to what we keep. This applies to physical possessions but also social commitments, media, exciting kid’s activities, etc. There is an addiction in our time to keep calendars busy and be in the midst of everything that is happening. There is a hidden wish in almost all of us that our kids be a part of everything. The truth is, we can't do it all, they can’t either and at the end of the day exhausting parents + exhausting kids transforms a blessing into a curse. A friend of mine once said that one commandment we almost never remember is rest. Even in education we are addicted to hundreds of thousands of charts, smart games, supplies and we fail to realize that children learn 90% through the use of their own bodies. So declutter, you will have less to stress about, less to prepare for, less to clean up and put away, more to be happy about and enjoy.
If I may add one more thing of the many we have learnt, I would say, watch your eyes and your mouth. What do you think people tell me when they see me around with 4 kids? They usually say something like “wow, you have your hands full’, “you must be exhausted” and they mean well. Sometimes we are all addicted to saying something about anything. Is it a lie? Many times it is 100% the truth, but the intention behind it is what can kill your peace and make you forget what an amazing thing you get to live: motherhood. So be mindful, not just about you, but about what you communicate to your children. When you say “I am tired”, any kid will run up and help you feel better. Now if what you say is: “I am tired of you”, the reaction will be resentment and it will backfire in no time with meaningful attitudes.
We are humans who get tired; take a nap, plan a time out - like the one I am having while writing this post, after 9 days and nights with my kids at home. We can talk endlessly about ways to overcome and enjoy this season of life. We are praying and planning to open some private sessions for it along with my husband. In the meantime I pray you are encouraged to start taking steps and let me know how these things are or aren’t useful in the comments. Life is short, we better enjoy the ride and live in the freedom of the abundant life God designed for us. Otherwise regret and troubles will find us later on.
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